Updated: Oct 4, 2019
So you hear the title of this podcast and you’re like, “being bullied Britney? We’re not in high school.” But if I can keep it real….this is such a real thing!
I have been in business for over 11 years, and while my mama taught me “not to play dat”, I have found myself in situations where people truly thought that they could bully me.
So I figured I’d talk about it on today’s podcast to confirm that this is a real thing, in case anyone is dealing with this.
When you hear the term “bully” it puts you in the mindset of a fight or an altercation. But looking up the term...bully it is defined as:
To seek harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable).
Now while in no way am I vulnerable when it comes to business (or in general), my friendly “best friend exceed expectations go over the top" vibe can be perceived that way—and sometimes in my past that led folks to feel as though they could intimidate me.
I feel like this podcast is for somebody, because this subject has been on my mind for the last few weeks. So I am being obedient and I am sharing this.
Now, when I talk about being bullied in business, I am not necessarily saying someone is stalking you, calling you out for a one-on-one (or what the city people call a fair one), I am mainly talking about intimidation.
This intimidation can come from clients, colleagues and even those we deem as the “higher ups” or “industry leaders”.
Bullying can come in the form of “sub-posts”, "sub-tweets", "sub-statuses"...the list goes on!
You ever launch a new product (or service) and someone posts immediately after knocking or clowning the idea? That’s bullying.
Ever give someone extra services because they threatened to write a review on the grounds of actually nothing...that’s bullying.
My husband shared a message with me a few days back, and the pastor basically was preaching about being authentically anointed—and folks actually being mad and jealous about it.
To follow-up on that, sometimes the grounds for us being bullied in business has nothing to do with us, but yet the insecurities of others.
So bass in that anointing because what God has for you...man.
I remember designing for a real well-known individual a few years back. As with any client project, I drafted a contract, submitted an invoice for a deposit...and you know, followed my business steps and processes.
When I sent the contract I received an email response back from this particular individual listing all the people and brands they knew...and why I needed to back off on sending contracts and stiff official paperwork.
I was so confused….what does “who you know” have to do with booking and contracting services with my company?
Looking back on it...I now realize that this person’s ego had been stroked. They were used to people bending over backwards, changing the way they did things and how they conducted business simply for the mere fact of working with them.
But that wasn’t me.
This person sharing the celebrities they knew, and the big brands they worked with was supposed to scare me into thinking the door would be closed on me in the industry if I didn’t do what they wanted...but God ya'll...this was a form of bullying.
And honestly, I now see an insecure person whose ego needed to once again be stroked. Let’s just say, we stopped working together.
I want you to know...do not let people bully you out of your genius. Your drive. Your push. Your ways. Your impact. Your potential. Keep going and force them to recognize.
Don’t let people claim you’re not qualified and you don’t have what it takes. You do. And they know that too. And at the end of the day, God has always got you!
Don’t let people throw up how much they paid you in your face—using it as a tactic to coerce you into doing more than what was contracted. Continue to provide a quality, customer-driven service (based on contract)...and keep their ways in the back of your mind so that you can move accordingly.
This doesn’t happen to me often but when it does, I am very aware.
Now, while it sounds like I am only talking to entrepreneurs...this can happen in corporate world too. You know, people seeing your potential and getting scared for your glow up… for your rise.
So, they’ll insert anything they can to get you to question yourself. You have to know that this happens, ok?
When I worked full-time, for me that was my conceptualizing. I always had GREAT ideas, but I had a supervisor who would often shut them down. Therefore my ideas would never reach leadership.
Everyone does not want you to shine….and if they’re insecure, they feel like your shine takes away from them. But it doesn’t. It honestly levels us up as a whole.
So I talked and haven’t given you any next steps...so here are 4 ways to deal with bullies in business:
1. Keep doing you! Do not change who you are or the way you do things! You’re on the road to greatness, and everyone around you sees it too!
2. Do not feed into it. When you recognize someone’s tendencies, store their behavior in the back of your mind as a “note to self” and simply keep your eyes on it. Now that you are aware, you’ll move differently.
3. Call them out. If it gets that bad...do not be afraid to put your big girl / big boy panties and call that joker out! Make them very aware of their behavior so they cannot claim “they didn’t know!”
4. Give it to God. Sometimes we want to fight every single battle thrown our way...when God truly wants to know we depend on Him to take care of it...there’s nothing wrong with smiling your way through it and simply giving it to God (when it’s not your battle to fight).
I hope you found this podcast to be helpful! Thanks for tuning in.